Me + You by Anna Bowen

What 21 Couples Taught Me About Love

When a woman realizes how often she’s failed at love, she turns to those people who’ve made it work. This is what she learns….

“This can’t be right,” I mutter to myself. The man across from me glances up in surprise from his double latte and Time Out magazine. I cast him an apologetic look — one that hopefully says, “No, I’m not crazy. Just an out of work, single actress here for the cheap hot cocoa and free Wi-Fi.”

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How I Played A Player

When I was small, I loved chess. It was like foretelling the future. By lining up the pieces a certain way, I could get my opponent (usually someone equally inept) to move the way I wanted. Once I discovered men, chess palled (well, except strip chess). Men were mysterious. Men could call or not call.…

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Maybe There’s A Reason He’s Not Listening

A few years ago, on a rare, non-sweltering summer evening in the sandhills of North Carolina, my husband and I sat on our back deck with a couple of grilled steaks and a couple of micro brews, watching our dogs play in the yard and talking wistfully about our hopes and our dreams. Actually…. I…

When A Man Has What It Takes

One of the reasons I married my ex-husband is because I saw how he took care of his mother when she was sick. He not only quit his first major job out of college to move to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota with her for three months to take care of her (he was…

Once A Cheater, Never Again A Cheater

From the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew I had to have him. I figured he had to have a girlfriend. But he asked me out, and I didn’t even think about my boyfriend back home, 700 miles away. The reasons I cheated were many. Distance, lack of sexual satisfaction, pre-existing lack of…

(Almost) Over You

There it was, at the bottom of the tan purse I never wear: a grocery list from another life. Toothpaste Frozen dinners Diet Coke Ice cream Cheez-Its Oatmeal cookies I haven’t thought of buying Cheez-Its or oatmeal cookies since the day I moved out of your house. This list was pre-breakup. A year ago, finding…

My Not-Quite-So-World-Changing Dream

In my dream, she’s my best friend, and I am hers. Whenever I get a piece of great news in my life, she’s the first person I want to tell. Whenever something stressful happens, she’s the first person I think of who can comfort me. I hope to be the same for her. In my…

How Women Reinforce Douchebaggery

Do you know why there are so many douchebags in the world? It’s because women keep sleeping with them. Seriously, if you give your dog a treat every time he takes a dump on the rug, expect to live in a very stinky house. Sleeping with someone you know is scum reinforces bad behavior in…

No Romance For Me, Please

Imagine the scene…. A balmy February evening with a luxurious yacht skimming along the water. On board are couples in love. To surprise Jane, John has two tickets for this Valentine’s Day moonlit cruise around the harbor. On the drive to the dock, John remains tight lipped, frustrating Jane. She anxiously clutches the bouquet of…

If You Chase Me, You’ll Never Catch Me

After discovering I could get women to chase me, I’ve collected some priceless stories. But is that really how I want to talk about my future girlfriend or wife? With stories of how I got her to jump through all of my hoops? Of course not. The kind of woman I want to spend the rest…

How To Save Your Relationship While Planning A Wedding

Clyde and I are getting married. This means I’ve suddenly turned into a wedding planner. In case you’ve never gone through this process before, allow me to say that it’s a special kind of pain. Fellas, be prepared to see a whole ‘nother side of the woman you love enough to hand over a small…

Why Do We Look Back On Past Love?

This year, Valentine’s Day came and went with nary a card, a box of chocolates, or even the usual fighting between my preschool students for the honor of calling me their “girlfriend.” Can you blame me for being depressed? I began serial dating in August. And by “serial dating,” I mean that I challenged myself…

May The Forced Small Talk Be With You

While doing some light shopping at Cabela’s the other night, I met a girl. She worked there. She was cute. She was witty. She was a red-head. Her name was Cassie. I remember walking towards the register with a few items in hand and thinking, “Wow. She’s really cute. Perhaps I should ask her out.” As she…

I’ve Become My Own Worst Nightmare

My mother was right. About everything. And if you ever tell her I said that, I may have to kill you. I wasn’t always the upstanding, hard-working, settled-down, home-owning, pinnacle of the American dream that I am today. And yet, that’s exactly what my mother predicted, even as I was sneaking out all night, smoking,…

No, He’s Not My Daddy

I’ve come to expect all sorts of reactions when I tell people that I’m dating someone eighteen years older than me. The blood-curdling screams have been (thankfully) few in number, though I usually expect jaws to drop and eyebrows to shoot up into hairlines. There are also those whose expressions remain suspiciously blank. When their…

The Curse Of The Red Flag

I just went to a friend’s wedding. Instead of jumping for joy that someone else was joining the club, though, my husband and I found ourselves thinking, “oh, no. They have no idea what they are in for.” I shouldn’t be such a pessimist. This particular couple is incredibly compatible. But, there have been a…

The Ex-Girlfriend Speaks Up

Yes, folks, here she is. The inspiration for countless posts, the coiner of the term Sneak-a-Date, and clearly the person with the smallest ego on this blog. The one, the only, Katie! Except, I guess technically with Dennis, there were two Katies. Anyway. I was the first, and I think that should count for something.…

True Friends Stab You In The Front

I’m a bad girl. I don’t mean that I’m promiscuous, a partier, or a bitch. I mean I’m bad at being a girl. All my life, societal norms have told me that I’m not a good female specimen. And I’m generally okay with the fact that I play pool, own a snake, am an engineer,…

Monogamy Is A Load Of Crap

When it comes to sexuality, many people believe that humans are unique in the animal kingdom: we feel love, we’re psychologically complex, we form long-term monogamous bonds. Well, science calls shenanigans. According to scientists, the similarities we find between animals and humans actually reveal some of our most basic instincts, and monogamy isn’t necessarily one…