The Lion And The Panda
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via babywit.com
While cuddling on the couch one evening, I nuzzled into my boyfriend’s side, squeezing him tight and rubbing his belly, and said, “you’re like a six-foot tall teddy bear.”
To which he replied, “a big, cuddly, panda teddy bear.”
I quickly shot up. He looked at me, puzzled, as I stared back, trying to figure out if he was a mind reader, or if this was just an eerie coincidence.
For the longest time, I had been preaching this theory I had about relationships. The theory involved pandas, and here my boyfriend was, proudly declaring he was one. This was a problem, as my theory revolved around the fact that I did not get along with pandas, because I was not a panda, but a lion, and if there were ever two animals in the animal kingdom that were not suited to get along, they were the lion and the panda.
It all started when I broke up with a guy I briefly dated. I likened our relationship to how a lion and panda might get along, given their polar-opposite personalities. Lions were headstrong, fierce, and energetic, and pandas were… well, pandas. They were soft and cuddly, but trying to get them to do anything other than eat bamboo or sit in a tree was an exercise in futility.
In my head, our conversations went a little something like this:
“I’m hungry, let’s go find some antelope or something.”
“But I want to stay on this branch.”
“Food. Let’s go, it’s already two o’clock.”
“But I want to stay on this branch.”
“RAWR FOOD NOW RAWR.”
“I… I don’t understand…. Branch?”
“RAAAAWWWRRR!!! I’M GONNA EAT YOU, PANDA!…. Hey, um, can you at least run a little or fall off the branch or something? The chase is half the fun.” Continue reading 'The Lion And The Panda'»
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