When I was in high school, my best friend worked at a comedy club, so I got to see plenty of up-and-coming (and sometimes neither-up-nor-coming) comedians. The first time I went, I was blown away by the warm-up guy. Whenever any drunken heckler in the audience shouted out a snide comment, he came up with the perfect comeback on the spot.
As impressed as I was, my friend was quick to plug up my gushing. He pointed out that if you’re a comedian, you have to deal with hecklers all the time. After a while, you build up a repertoire of retorts for just about any occasion. So, you don’t necessarily need a quick wit. You just have to anticipate and prepare.
Interestingly, I’ve discovered that dating follows the exact same principle….
I’ve mentioned before that if you’re on a first date, and the guy seems to know the perfect thing to say at every opportunity, that could just mean he’s been a lot of first dates. Well, I admit it. I’m one of those guys. If I manage to snag a first date, I usually get the chance for at least a second date.
Long ago, I realized that I will never be the tall, dark, mysterious guy who just sulks in the corner and lets the girls flock to him – the guy who seduces with a glance and a smirk. Nope, I learned that if I wanted to find any success with women, I’d have to rely on my personality. And I’m okay with that, because it taught me how to interact with the opposite sex.
It also made me realize that being charming can be practiced and learned. Through the trials and errors of countless first dates, I’ve figured out what I need to say to keep the conversation flowing. I’ve learned how to build rapport by listening to her stories and connecting them to my own experiences. I’ve learned how to come across as intelligent and funny, with just the tinge of flirty.