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Meeting Someone For The Second Time Is The Most Awkward

In two weeks, I’ll be heading to Utah for my company’s Grand Meetup, the one time a year when the entirety of Automattic meets in person. This will be my second Grand Meetup, which means that I will already have met a significant percentage of the people who will be there.

Should be a great time, and definitely less pressure than the first Grand Meetup, right?

Mmmm, no.

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south park chinese man

If You Don’t Know Me, Don’t Call Attention To My Race

Guy: Soooo… is this your first time at Comic-Con?

Girl: Nope.

Guy: Cool, cool.

Girl: [Silence]

Guy: Soooo… what kind of Asian are you?

Girl (visibly scowling): Uhhh… the American kind?

With that, she turned and dashed into the nearest store. And that’s when my girlfriend and I looked at each other and laughed.

Image by Petr Kratochvil

Why I Gave Up Teaching

Many of these kids never thought they could graduate from high school – not them, not their parents, not anyone around them growing up. That’s why we went into teaching in the first place. Not just to help kids succeed, but also to convince them that they could succeed. Every year, this one day in June made teaching worthwhile all over again.

Image by Mike Kemp

I Almost Missed An Opportunity That Changed My Life

On some level, we all spend our lives waiting for opportunity. “I’m just waiting for my big break.” “I can’t believe how lucky he got. That guy gets all the breaks.” It’s as though opportunity is this giant metal claw, and we’re toys at the bottom of the carnival machine of life, each of us hoping to be the next lucky one to get snatched up to a better life.

But, this isn’t how opportunity operates. Whether you believe that God, Darwin, or just random blind luck is responsible, opportunity doesn’t just fall onto our lap and whisk us away.

Image by Luciano Lozano

The Problem Of Modern Medicine

Modern medicine can save our lives many times around. Yet, why do so many people mistrust it? Here’s the underlying problem with modern medical techniques.

While I was getting my dose of bandwagon football last weekend, I realized that the cornerback must be the most underappreciated player on the team. Now, since the typical Musings demographic is decidedly not a sports fan, and since most people are probably reading this for some diatribe on modern medicine, please bear with me for a minute….

Image by Lonely Planet Images

When Is It Okay To Wear Leggings As Pants?

Some people are vehemently against wearing leggings as pants. This is what they’re actually doing when they express their disapproval….

Raise your hand if you think it’s an outright crime of fashion to wear leggings as pants — as in, leggings with nothing else over them. If you’re like some people I know, you may be waving both arms in the air vehemently now. Well, I have a secret to tell. I think wearing leggings as pants is….

Image by Spiderstock

Of Marriage Proposals And Porn

Some people love the spectacle of a public marriage proposal. But is it heartwarming? Or is it just porn for our romantic soul?

Have you seen this heartwarming marriage proposal that made its rounds over the internet last week? In case you didn’t watch the video because you’re at work… or have something better to do… or are an emotionless robot, basically, the boyfriend of a Chicago Bulls cheerleader wanted to propose to her….

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Grieving From Afar

How do you offer your condolences when someone who isn’t close to you passes away? Last week, someone I knew died. I’d known her for six years, but we were never close. Our one connection was a mutual friend who introduced us for business reasons. After we completed our brief professional relationship, I saw this woman only once again….

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“Why Don’t I Receive Much Attention From Men?”

Just because you think you’re hot doesn’t mean that men will actually notice you. The following is an email that I received from a reader. I don’t usually publish the private messages I get, but the issue she addresses seems to be pretty common, so I asked her if I could post her letter (slightly edited for length) and my response (in its full fury) here.

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I’m An Awkward Hugger

I love meeting new people. I’d like to think of myself as a pretty good conversationalist, and I’m well-rounded enough in my interests that I can usually make some sort of connection to a person I’ve just met. So yeah, meeting someone for the first time? Awesome. What’s not so awesome? Hugging someone for the…

han solo

I grew up thinking “I know” is how you respond to “I love you”

Happy Revenge of the Sixth, everyone. (You probably know May the Fourth, but I just learned about Revenge of the Sixth last week, so of course, I now have to use it.) I was five years old when I saw Star Wars for the first time. I’m pretty sure I nagged my parents to see it in the theaters at least 10 or 11 times. And no, I’m not exaggerating.

Image by Hauke Dressler

My Teacher Made Me Ashamed To Be An Introvert

I love eating alone. Aside from the fact that it gives me a chance to catch up on my reading, it just makes more sense. Yes, eating together is a social tradition dating back to our cave-people days, but let’s think about this for a second: 1) Being “social” generally entails talking to another human…

road rage

I Wish Cars Had A “My Bad” Horn

A few days ago, I almost plowed my car into a shiny new BMW because the dumbass in the Beemer failed to check for oncoming traffic (that is, me) before making a turn. Unmentionable profanities spewed from my mouth as I was forced to swerve around him at 50 mph. But then, I looked over…

Dreaming Man

Why You Can’t Prove (Or Disprove) That God Exists

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had one of those uncanny dreams that go something like this: You’re at home… or work… or school. All of a sudden, the fire alarm goes off, and you see smoke seeping in all around you. You scamper frantically down the hallway. Meanwhile, the fire alarm continues to blare—BLAAA…

Bad parenting

I Blame Your Shitty Kids On Your Shitty Parenting

This past Mother’s Day, a local radio station did a segment called “The Worst Mother’s Day Ever.” In case that title isn’t descriptive enough for you, they basically asked mothers to call in and describe how horrible their Mother’s Day went. The mother with the worst story won a $700 pair of earrings! Of all…

Angry Asian woman

How I Pissed Off A Bunch Of Asian Women On The Internet

Welp, the angry people are at it again. From now on, whenever I submit an article to The Frisky, I should just make it my goal to see how many hypersensitive people I can offend. That’s what usually ends up happening, anyway. Here’s a rundown of the latest drama: I published an article (which itself…

Something like this, you're probably imagining....

A Little (Ruthless) Mocking Only Made Me A Better Person

I confess. Back in college, I was in a fraternity. And yes, I engaged in some of the dumbass behaviors you probably associate with fraternities. Even today, friends sometimes express surprise when they find out that I was a “frat boy.” Other times, when I’m caught in moments of douchiness, I’m told that I’m “still…

Angry with the world

If You Can’t Change The World, Change Yourself

Man, the world is full of angry people. And I’d say that, aside from the smattering of terrorists, bigots, outright lunatics, and one chartreuse superhero, about 95% of them inhabit the comments section of various websites. I write about dating and relationships because I truly do want to help bridge the communication gap between men…