Posts tagged: respect

The Boy Who Only Wanted One Thing

By , March 12, 2012 6:06 am

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Theatre is sexy. Backstage is dimly lit, with the subtle glow of the onstage lights streaming through the dust of the wooden flats. There are dark corners and pre-determined soundless moments. It’s hot, too. Heat-hot from the lights, and sex-hot from the right chemistry and synchronicity.

Give a couple of prepubescent teens two-and-a-half hours with minimal supervision off-stage, and the theatre can and will do its magic.

I began acting in the theatre at seven. By the time I was 12, I was a horny adolescent girl, and Tony Snow was my equally horny adolescent target. I met him while doing The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. (Cue: howling wind and horse hoof-beats.)

It was the perfect dark and creepy story for a young girl’s first “show-mance.”

It didn’t take long before I realized he wanted me, too. What we wanted… we weren’t quite sure, yet. But we were more than willing to explore the possibilities. We were the reigning Sleepy Hollow item.

Tony and I shared the same path backstage as we headed from one exit to the next entrance. I’d lead as we ran off-stage through the concourse into the Green Room, past the rehearsal hall, and cut through the Very Dark Hallway–a hallway that was sealed by two sets of double-doors on either end.

When both sets of double-doors were closed, it was pitch-black in that hallway. Verily Dark.

The sign on the door read: THESE DOORS MUST REMAIN CLOSED DURING PERFORMANCE.

These doors must remain closed….

Continue reading 'The Boy Who Only Wanted One Thing'»

It’s Okay, I’m A Doctor — It Says So Right Here On My…

By , January 9, 2012 6:00 am

Do you remember learning about self-esteem in grade school? When they teach you to stand up for yourself in an assertive way? To speak up when someone doesn’t give you the respect that you deserve?

As it turns out, that’s only half the lesson. Because they certainly don’t teach you how to respond when someone gives you respect that you don’t deserve….

I went to happy hour with a friend one time. It was still early, so there was only one other customer sitting at the bar as we walked up. The bartender was deeply immersed in conversation with this guy, and as we waited for her to serve us, I couldn’t help but overhear their entire conversation.

Apparently, the bartender had gotten sick a few weeks ago and was worried that she had an ear infection. But, she didn’t have any medical insurance, so she didn’t know what to do. As the other guy nodded along sympathetically, I thought this was sort of a strange thing for a bartender to be telling a customer.

Maybe she knows him? Maybe they’re friends, and he’s just here to chill with her?

Finally, the bartender noticed me and sidled over. I ordered a round of drinks and handed her my credit card, telling her to keep the tab open. She glanced at it and then, somewhat unexpectedly, said this:

“Oh hey! Can I ask you a question?”

I furrowed my brows at her sudden eagerness.

“Umm… sure?”

“Okay, so I got sick a few weeks ago….”

And she carved a screeching u-turn right back into the story that she had just told the other customer. As I sat there, listening to her kvetch about her ear, I began to wonder if this bartender just had a case of oversharitis.

Continue reading 'It’s Okay, I’m A Doctor — It Says So Right Here On My…'»

The Hardest Job Everyone Thinks They Can Do

By , September 13, 2010 6:30 am

Image by doug88888 via Flickr

This piece was inspired by a heated discussion I had with a man who believes that teachers have an easy job. Please feel free to share it with others if you agree with the message.

I used to be a molecular biologist. I spent my days culturing viruses. Sometimes, my experiments would fail miserably, and I’d swear to myself in frustration. Acquaintances would ask how my work was going. I’d explain how I was having a difficult time cloning this one gene. I couldn’t seem to figure out the exact recipe to use for my cloning cocktail.

Acquaintances would sigh sympathetically. And they’d say, “I know you’ll figure it out. I have faith in you.”

And then, they’d tilt their heads in a show of respect for my skills….

Today, I’m a high school teacher. I spend my days culturing teenagers. Sometimes, my students get disruptive, and I swear to myself in frustration. Acquaintances ask me how my work is going. I explain how I’m having a difficult time with a certain kid. I can’t seem to get him to pay attention in class.

Acquaintances smirk knowingly. And they say, “well, have you tried making it fun for the kids? That’s how you get through to them, you know?”

And then, they explain to me how I should do my job….

I realize now how little respect teachers get. Teaching is the toughest job everyone who’s never done it thinks they can do. I admit, I was guilty of these delusions myself. When I decided to make the switch from “doing” science to “teaching” science, I found out that I had to go back to school to get a teaching credential.

“What the f—?!?,” I screamed to any friends willing to put up with my griping. “I have a Ph.D.! Why do I need to go back to get a lousy teaching credential?!?”

I was baffled. How could I, with my advanced degree in biology, not be qualified to teach biology?!

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Top 8 Ways To Make A Relationship Last – The Easy Ones!

By , December 11, 2009 8:00 am

Image by Paul Watson

“They make it look so easy,” or “I bet they never fight,” or my favorite, “she has the perfect guy.” We’ve all said that, right? Well, let’s get a few things straight:

1. Relationships are not easy.

2. Everyone fights, it’s normal and healthy, and it actually makes your relationship stronger.

3. No one has the perfect guy (or girl).

Now that that’s out there, let me say a few warm-fuzzy things before I completely dash everyone’s hopes of finding a perfect match. I’m married, and I’m really happy being married. If I’m meeting my husband in a bar (yes, we still go to bars) and I see him across the room, my heart still gives an extra little pitter-patter. Even after being together for ten years, I still have a giant crush on him.

So how is it possible to be happy when faced with the tough truth that relationships are not easy? Well, if you make an honest effort to respect and communicate with your partner (and follow my handy-dandy hints), things start to feel less like work and become part of normal habits. And, dare I say, “easy?”

But what does that statement really mean, and how do you do it? Continue reading 'Top 8 Ways To Make A Relationship Last – The Easy Ones!'»

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