There’s A Fine Line Between Smart And Ass
Comments (13) 
Photo by pmarkham via Flickr
I decided to do the online dating thing again. And when you’re doing the online dating thing, you get to fill in these little packets of personal information. One self-description that I invariably put down is that I can be a bit of a smart-ass. I put this down because… well, I’ve been known to make girls cry on the first date, so I feel that sufficient warning must be granted to all my potential suitees.
Not too surprisingly, I often get matched up with other alleged smart-asses. What does this mean when I meet up with these women then? Mostly, we spend a large portion of our time barbing back and forth in a proverbial urinating contest to see whose gluteus is more intelligent.
Unfortunately, some people don’t seem to understand the difference between being a smart-ass and being an ass. Hey, I admit it. I’ve had issues with it myself. (Again, I made a girl CRY. On a FIRST DATE.) To be perfectly honest, I still lapse occasionally… er, frequently from smart-ass to plain ass.
You see, there’s a fine line between sarcastic and insulting. Being sarcastic takes intelligence, a quick wit, and some amount of lucky timing. Being insulting is just the clueless person’s substitute for true sarcasm.
Let me tell you about an evening recently spent between two self-professed smart-asses:
We’re hanging out in my room. She happens to have a bottle of Diet Coke with her. She opens the bottle, takes a sip, then drops it and spills a decent amount of soda on my bed. I groan and say, “alright, whatever. Here, get up. I’m gonna change the sheets.”
She says: “Don’t worry, we’ll just cover it up. You can change them in the morning.”
I say: “Ummm, I’d rather just change them right now. I’m not gonna sleep on a Coke stain.”
[SSSSSKRRRRRRTTTTTTZZZZZZZZZZZZ] Time out.
Continue reading 'There’s A Fine Line Between Smart And Ass'»
Themocracy