But really. What an unfair experiment. I feel like I grasp voice quite well (even if many people don’t get mine), but it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure this out. I attribute this more to my extremely literal way of interpreting things than my learning style. And even if it does accurately reflect my learning style, I’m not sure that directly reflects on my writing style in the way you suggested. Or maybe I just need to take the extra time required to read things out loud in order to improve my writing.

Crap. So there IS a lesson. I wish I would’ve realized that before attempting to type all of this in my phone.

In any case, I was also 21 and while dad had no issue with me being an adult and doing my own thing… she wouldn’t have it. The church issue was dropped years ago since my dad happens to share my view on religion and tolerates his wife’s beliefs. What really got me though… well, first, I was told that I would have to give up my 2 cats (both that I adopted as kittens with dad’s permission) in order to move back in. Second, I was forbidden from even bringing dates home. Third, she always seemed to find fault with me no matter what I did.

I fought, rebelled, and generally acted like a teenager for a year before I moved out. I’m personally not looking back. The harpy has yet to enter my current place (been here over a year now) and I plan on keeping it that way.

Looking back, I can see why she was hard on me. Her methods just pissed me off but that was the goal (more or less). You see, our parents lived in an age where you moved out of your parents house by the time you were 20 if you didn’t go to college right after high school. So I hate to say it, but you still living with them is telling them that they have failed you somehow and that you are still too immature to handle your own life.

The only way you can get away from their rules is to build your own life away from them. Because once you haul that last box (or black garbage bag)away, they can’t tell you to do a damn thing that you don’t want to. Even if you can only afford a cramped studio, you can be as much of a raving atheist as you want in that small space.

I’m now 23 and I have to say I love living with roommates. Sometimes I consider moving back in with my parents to save money… then I think about what exactly that would mean and manage to find a way to get my rent paid.

It seems to me that you don’t pick up on much of anything except to stroke your own ego, so no I wouldn’t expect that you would notice if Linda needed to be drunk to have sex with you. And as far as women needing to feed your ego, I think you have that covered all on your own. I am not slighting you for having booty calls. It is your complete denial as to your part in the process that I aim my comments. Linda allowed herself to be used and you used her. But blaming her for not knowing YOUR rules of a booty call completely leaving yourself without any responsibly is narcissistic.

The point isnt how good the sex is, who consented to what, or even how sexy you think you are. The point is that making a blanket statement does not make you any less responsible for your own actions. If she was not facebook worthy, why make her penis worthy. I think Linda would be VERY lucky to never hear from you again.

The being human comment was directed at your lack of acknowledgment that people don’t act how we want or even how we expect them to act just because you want it that way. If she violated your first rule, then immediate action should have been taken on your part to “boot” her right off your “call” list. So as I see it, by “allowing” her to continue to “violate” your rules, you have no room to complain.

Not that what I am about to say excuses my actions in any way, but I have a very strong personality that needs to be reigned in on occasion. And by that I mean unless someone pushes back (as my friends and family do) I unconsciously become more and more of an attention-craving, self-absorbed, egotistical asshole.

A little more conscious thought on my part would go a long way in correcting that, but for now I’m pretty satisfied with all aspects of my life so if all it takes is a little sit-down-talk from the people who love me then I can live with that.

My personality naturally wants to push boundaries… or to take responsibility for it, I like to push boundaries… and the more a woman pushes back the more I respect her and the more I like her. It’s slightly twisted, but that’s how my mind works for right now. My point is a lot of women just don’t provide any resistance so inevitably I end up treating them however they allow me to treat them.

However, if I truly care about a woman I end things before it gets to that point because I’ve seen the pain it causes, as well as been on the receiving end a couple times.

And like I noted somewhere else, besides one night stands I now generally avoid getting into situations with women like Linda.

Secondly, I always get a laugh out of comments like this that try to flip the script on me.

If she needed to be drunk to have sex with me then I sure as hell didn’t pick up on it (unless you’re referring to the night we met, in which case yes, we were both drunk). Maybe I should have made her drive instead…

Yes, I am that good. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that. I know I’m not the best, but having a passion for something like sex or pleasuring a woman makes for a strong desire to do a “thorough” job. I know that makes it sound mechanical, or inhuman, and in cases like these booty call incidents it probably was some of the nights, but 99% of the time I make sure whoever I’m with is satisfied before I finish.

BUT hypothetically, if I wasn’t that good, then women probably shouldn’t be feeding my ego with all of their moaning, screaming, cumming, texting, and intimate compliments.

Next, I am VERY selective when it comes to women I add on facebook because my sex/dating life is extremely public so just flirting or hooking up with me is NOT a good enough reason for me to add someone. I actually have to like her enough to first explain my facebook and website. If I don’t care enough about her to do that, I won’t be adding her and she’ll most likely never find out about my website. (Dennis and Katie can attest to the extreme nature of my presence on facebook… I don’t exactly “hide” my personality, or the “events” in my sex life.)

Anyway, Linda did manage to live without me for two months, but she was still texting me during that time… I just ignored her texts because I was seeing other women.

I’m not even sure what you’re trying to imply by that last paragraph, but I assure you I’m not a robot. Robots this sexy haven’t even been invented yet.

The “relationships” I find myself in now are still casual, but I genuinely like the women I’m with and I make it clear I’m not looking for anything serious.

Things shifted with us once he gained a little more confidence, realized the importance of maintaing his independence and friends, and saw that we were hanging out way too much. He still loved me, but wanted to also have his time without me. It was such a sucker punch to my ego because I was initially the one thinking we were hanging out too much and trying to establish my freedom. His shift was honestly, very healthy, and ultimately good for both of us, but it was so drastic and painful that it caused a lot of turmoil.

Fast forward to today, your attitude and some of your ideas sound a lot like his. He often feels like people either love or hate him and so he is striving to maintain a constant attitude of expressing himself no matter what. When we’re good he shares that with me and feels comfortable in my presence to fully be himself. When we’re bad, it’s usually because I am stressing him about something that doesn’t even matter right now instead of enjoying the relationship and seeing how things flow. You can’t really plan love.

I know this man must really love me because he is with me even though I challenge his independence constantly at an age (25) where men want to flaunt it most. I totally agree that there should always be some challenge there, and have been thinking today about how

a) A good chunk of the time I spend thinking about and talking about my relationship, I could be using on myself! Your statement that

“A girl can show interest in me by allowing me to pursue her or more specifically letting me know she wants me to pursue her… If she’s interested she’ll respond to my efforts, and if she’s not, she won’t.”

is such a relieving statement. The pressure is off…that’s less work for me, fewer expectations for him, and two people who are able to function happily separately and together. And it’s more fun for me when I don’t have to do much work!

b) these things can be very simple, but are made complicated by so many exterior factors. Just let it flow! (I’m def telling myself this too lol)

Thanks so much for your honest post!

And maybe, just maybe she asked if you have a facebook because she thought this guy certainly doesn’t have a lot of friends maybe I will help him out. Really? Are you that good that Linda was hanging on to you for dear life? Seems to me she could live without you for two months, why not the rest of her life?

Linda is just being human and to fault her for that is ridiculous. She didn’t want to emotionally connect with you. She was being a human. Maybe that is something you might want to try, Rick.

Please understand that we only just launched like two weeks ago, and the site is being built from the ground up by three people with a great idea for a site, but who otherwise have real jobs. We hope to launch officially in the next month or so. In the meantime, consider yourself privileged (?) to have found us while we’re still beta testing.