Comments (81)

By Rick Allan, December 12, 2011 6:00 am

Every now and then, I’ll take a girl home who might not be my #1 pick of the night, but maybe she’s really enthusiastic or just knows how to play the game. Inevitably, we’ll have the “I’m not looking for anything serious right now” conversation, and things will go smoothly for at least a few weeks (and by “smoothly,” I mean our interaction is strictly limited to me calling her when I’m drunk and horny).

Things go smoothly, that is, until she starts breaking the rules.

Rules? What rules, you ask?

Good question! Why, the rules of booty calling, of course.

Now, it’s not a big deal if she breaks one or two of the rules, as the damage can be managed appropriately, and hurt feelings can still be minimized. Occasionally, however, a woman will seemingly make it her goal to break every single one.

Linda was one of these women. I met her while out on a typical Friday night. She was cute. Nothing special, but the more I drank, the better she looked. She played the game just enough to keep me interested until we went home together.

The next morning, we ran through the motions: “I like you, you like me”… “I’m not looking for anything serious”… “neither am I”… and so on. I made it clear that this was going to be pretty casual for me. And she seemed to be in perfect agreement.

But it didn’t take long for her to start messing it all up, as I received the following text a few days later:

“Are you on facebook ”

Oh, look, the first rule….

Continue reading 'The Ricktastic Guide To Proper Booty Call Etiquette'»

Comments (18)

By Rick Allan, April 18, 2011 6:00 am

Image by MoPo.ca

I met Ramona in Vegas.

We only spent a couple hours together the night we met. Yet, neither of us had ever connected so deeply with another human being in such a short period of time.

We didn’t even have an actual conversation until I called her a few weeks later. I was so nervous, I felt like I was back in middle school calling a crush for the first time. I invited her to come down to San Diego the next week.

All the giddy little school kids in the world had nothing on me the morning she arrived. She went in for the kiss, and I awkwardly hugged her. I stumbled over my words. I couldn’t even hold eye contact with her.

I finally managed to relax, and the rest of the day couldn’t have gone any better. I loved being with her, and yet, I was uncomfortable being myself around her. Her presence made me want to be more than just myself.

A week later, she came to see me while I was in Los Angeles, and we went out to a bar with some friends. I was suffering from a cough, and without so much as a hint from me, she got up and returned a few minutes later with drinks for us. Smiling, she said, “I asked the bartender to make you something for your throat.”

It was such a simple gesture, but it meant the world to me.

Later that week, I went to see her, and while we were lying in bed, those three little words almost slipped out.

Whoa. At this point, I was afraid I might be falling faster than she was, so I backed off. I decided I’d try to get her to chase me. Because back then, I still thought that if a woman were interested in me, she would pursue me, too, right? Continue reading 'If I Chase You, I May Fall For You'»

Comments (122)

By Rick Allan, April 11, 2011 6:00 am

Image by Blue Images

After discovering I could get women to chase me, I’ve collected some priceless stories. But is that really how I want to talk about my future girlfriend or wife? With stories of how I got her to jump through all of my hoops?

Of course not. The kind of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with won’t jump through those hoops. She knows doing so won’t get me to pursue her.

Because if I am interested, I will pursue her.

If I am not, I won’t.

It sounds simple. But if everything in life was as simple as it sounded, birth control would be 100% effective, every person on the planet would be a master at parallel parking, and the girl knocking on the door to your Vegas hotel room would actually look like the girl on the card.

I allow myself to get chased because it is amusing, and my ego (among other things) always appreciates a good stroking. But when that special woman, with a twinkle in her eye and a deceivingly innocent smirk on her face, lets me know that I’m not going to catch her so easily, I take off after her while the other girls fade into the distance. Continue reading 'If You Chase Me, You’ll Never Catch Me'»