Can You “Hear” What You Read And Write?

Here’s a fun little experiment. Read the passage below in your head and see if it makes sense to you. If it doesn’t, read it out loud to yourself. If it still doesn’t make sense, ask someone to recite it to you. Hopefully, then it should be obvious. And if you don’t have someone (to…

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It’s Okay, I’m A Doctor — It Says So Right Here On My…

Do you remember learning about self-esteem in grade school? When they teach you to stand up for yourself in an assertive way? To speak up when someone doesn’t give you the respect that you deserve? As it turns out, that’s only half the lesson. Because they certainly don’t teach you how to respond when someone…

When Ordinary People Turn Into Trolls

For the past few months now, I’ve been contributing guest columns on Dear Wendy. By no means do I consider myself a relationship expert, but I do believe I’ve been through enough personal drama that I can offer some pretty good insights. Plus, helping people gives me a warm, gooey feeling that’s way more slimming…

Losing My Motivation

I don’t do running. That is to say, I don’t do running when running is the only thing being done. Running in flag football, floor hockey, or settling of drunken bets? That, I can do. But… just running? Like, the ancient Greek death sentence known as a marathon? Crap, no. I’m decent at sports that…

I Fell In Love Too Hard, Too Soon

I am a stoic. In a new relationship, I tend to stay reserved and guarded. I hold back my feelings, and I definitely don’t let myself fall for someone very easily. At least not until I know for sure that the relationship means something. Some people, on the other hand, are effusive. In a new…

My Not-Quite-So-World-Changing Dream

In my dream, she’s my best friend, and I am hers. Whenever I get a piece of great news in my life, she’s the first person I want to tell. Whenever something stressful happens, she’s the first person I think of who can comfort me. I hope to be the same for her. In my…

To Be Strong Is To Show Our Weakness

Being a guy sucks sometimes. I mean, aside from having to constantly monitor all these fragile dangly parts that we absolutely positively must keep out of the way of zippers, rogue knees, and hand rails (although that last one really only applies if we’re doing rail slides on a skateboard), we’re also trained from an…

When Did “Trying Too Hard” Become A Bad Thing?

Ladies, meet Scott. That’s him in the middle in the photo. Yes, the one with the mane of hair and the pager clipped to his jeans. Scott and I were fraternity brothers at UCLA, and for as long as I’ve known him, he has epitomized the term “chick magnet.” Within the fraternity, there was a…

We Weren’t Having Sex, But I Was Still Getting Screwed

For months after Julie and I broke up, we chose to remain friends. Yes, it was a mutual decision. No, really. Stop rolling your eyes. This is not another rant about being stuck in the Friend Zone. We still cared about each other, and we still enjoyed each other’s company. We just realized that, romantically,…

Mathematical Proof That Women Are Just As Promiscuous As Men

There’s a perception floating around that men are more promiscuous than women and, hence, have more sexual partners during their lifetimes. Well, I call bullshit. And I’m bringing my army of math to back me up. In a survey taken by ABC News, men reported a lifetime average of 20 partners, while women reported a…

Wasting Away In The Friend Zone

I have no problem with the Friend Zone. The Friend Box. Friendship Island. The Vortex of Platonic Optimism…. Whatever you want to call it, I think opposite-sex friends are splendid. They can be an arsenal of insight when we need help understanding, well, the opposite sex. What’s not so splendid is the opposite-sex friend who…

Monogamy Is A Load Of Crap

When it comes to sexuality, many people believe that humans are unique in the animal kingdom: we feel love, we’re psychologically complex, we form long-term monogamous bonds. Well, science calls shenanigans. According to scientists, the similarities we find between animals and humans actually reveal some of our most basic instincts, and monogamy isn’t necessarily one…

The Hardest Job Everyone Thinks They Can Do

This piece was inspired by a heated discussion I had with a man who believes that teachers have an easy job. Please feel free to share it with others if you agree with the message. I used to be a molecular biologist. I spent my days culturing viruses. Sometimes, my experiments would fail miserably, and…

I Date Outside My Race Because My Race Won’t Date Me

Whether or not I really am made up of a gooey white cream center and can now be found in heart-wrenching deep-fried form at the county fair, the truth is that I rarely meet Asian women who are interested in me. For years now, I’ve wondered if all is not harmonious in the land of Rice Rocketry. For years now, I’ve suspected that a disproportionate number of Asian women here in San Diego only want to date non-Asian men.

My Absolute Dealbreaker

Now that I’m single again, I’m trying to retrain myself to do the dating dance. I went on a first date recently, and the evening was pretty much a conversational ballet, the two of us daintily tiptoeing around each other with loaded questions and politically correct answers in an effort to figure out if we might actually like the other person. That night, I stumbled upon a Mega-Dealbreaker. One that superseded all the lesser, mere mortal dealbreakers. Within the rabid pack of dealbreakers frothing in my head, this one quickly established itself as the Alpha:

How I Get A Girl To Break Up With Me

I hate breaking up with someone. I really do. Call me spineless, tell me to grow a pair, I get it. I just have this need to be the “good guy” (or at least deceive myself that I am). I feel better when I’m the poor sap who gets broken up with, rather than the…

In Search Of Certainty

As the cliché generalizes so succinctly, breaking up is hard to do. Especially when you don’t know if it’s the right decision…. I would like to announce that I just experienced the most civil breakup in the annals of breakups. Seriously, if Gandhi and Mother Theresa had been an estranged couple, they wouldn’t have done…

The Bane Of Friendship

Friendship. It’s so many wonderful things. It’s caring. It’s affection. It’s laughter and inside jokes. It’s also the last bastion of the freshly dumped. After all, how many breakup conversations include the phrase, “can we just be friends?” So why do we go along with such a “request”? Are we that desperate? Do we get…