Image by Hauke Dressler

My Teacher Made Me Ashamed To Be An Introvert

I love eating alone. Aside from the fact that it gives me a chance to catch up on my reading, it just makes more sense. Yes, eating together is a social tradition dating back to our cave-people days, but let’s think about this for a second: 1) Being “social” generally entails talking to another human…

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road rage

I Wish Cars Had A “My Bad” Horn

A few days ago, I almost plowed my car into a shiny new BMW because the dumbass in the Beemer failed to check for oncoming traffic (that is, me) before making a turn. Unmentionable profanities spewed from my mouth as I was forced to swerve around him at 50 mph. But then, I looked over…

Dreaming Man

Why You Can’t Prove (Or Disprove) That God Exists

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had one of those uncanny dreams that go something like this: You’re at home… or work… or school. All of a sudden, the fire alarm goes off, and you see smoke seeping in all around you. You scamper frantically down the hallway. Meanwhile, the fire alarm continues to blare—BLAAA…

Bad parenting

I Blame Your Shitty Kids On Your Shitty Parenting

This past Mother’s Day, a local radio station did a segment called “The Worst Mother’s Day Ever.” In case that title isn’t descriptive enough for you, they basically asked mothers to call in and describe how horrible their Mother’s Day went. The mother with the worst story won a $700 pair of earrings! Of all…

Angry Asian woman

How I Pissed Off A Bunch Of Asian Women On The Internet

Welp, the angry people are at it again. From now on, whenever I submit an article to The Frisky, I should just make it my goal to see how many hypersensitive people I can offend. That’s what usually ends up happening, anyway. Here’s a rundown of the latest drama: I published an article (which itself…

Something like this, you're probably imagining....

A Little (Ruthless) Mocking Only Made Me A Better Person

I confess. Back in college, I was in a fraternity. And yes, I engaged in some of the dumbass behaviors you probably associate with fraternities. Even today, friends sometimes express surprise when they find out that I was a “frat boy.” Other times, when I’m caught in moments of douchiness, I’m told that I’m “still…

Angry with the world

If You Can’t Change The World, Change Yourself

Man, the world is full of angry people. And I’d say that, aside from the smattering of terrorists, bigots, outright lunatics, and one chartreuse superhero, about 95% of them inhabit the comments section of various websites. I write about dating and relationships because I truly do want to help bridge the communication gap between men…

Dear Politics: Please Pick Your Battles

Years ago, whenever my mom deemed it necessary to declare war on someone I or my sister was dating, she would execute a pretty ambitious—though usually ineffective—battle plan. Her strategy? To “prove” the person wasn’t right for us by systematically pointing out every last imperfection this person might have. If character assassination is what you…

Can You “Hear” What You Read And Write?

Here’s a fun little experiment. Read the passage below in your head and see if it makes sense to you. If it doesn’t, read it out loud to yourself. If it still doesn’t make sense, ask someone to recite it to you. Hopefully, then it should be obvious. And if you don’t have someone (to…

It’s Okay, I’m A Doctor — It Says So Right Here On My…

Do you remember learning about self-esteem in grade school? When they teach you to stand up for yourself in an assertive way? To speak up when someone doesn’t give you the respect that you deserve? As it turns out, that’s only half the lesson. Because they certainly don’t teach you how to respond when someone…