The Lion And The Panda

A guy who sleeps until noon while I’m fidgeting and can’t get back to sleep, makes no effort to get to know me, and would rather watch television than make out with me? Bad panda. A guy who normally sleeps until noon, but wakes up with me once in a while, makes me breakfast, and takes his time to make sure things get done right? Good panda.

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I Can Have My Bacon And Eat It, Too

Religion is a funny thing. Last week the Jewish high holidays happened, and every year right about now, I tend to get introspective and unordinarily gung-ho about “recommitting” myself to Judaism (or whatever you want to call efforts I should be making year-round to not be considered the horrible Jew I am). I don’t think…

I'm Picky, And I'm Proud Of It

I believe I am completely within my right to be somewhat picky when choosing a mate… as long as I’m willing to accept that, by acting that way, it will take time and effort to find someone I really want to be with. In essence, and rather ironically, I am allowed to make myself completely miserable in pursuit of true happiness. So, if we’re not absolutely dying to find someone to bump uglies with share a deep emotional connection with, we can send stuff back to the kitchen for not being hot enough. We just can’t bitch about having to wait around to get a hot piece of meat, because we did it to ourselves.

What's Wrong With Online Dating?

To some, online dating is a shamefully self-destructive activity: Men and women, dissatisfied with traditional methods of finding a mate, feed their dating hunger by sifting through the week-old garbage that are online dating sites, stuffing their faces with the refuse of the masses until they overindulge and sit in the shower, rocking back and…

Intellect Required

A friend and I were recently discussing her breakup when she said something I’d been thinking for at least a year now. “I feel kind of like a bad person,” she started, “but is it too much to ask to want to date a guy who meets a certain intelligence requirement?” My answer: absolutely not.…